A date? …oh fuck!

I’ve never really had a stage in my life where I’ve simply dated.

When I first came out at 19, I was shy. I went on my first date and was so nervous. I couldn’t put my hands on the table because they were shaking and I formed a stutter, which had never happened before. I found it incredibly traumatic, so I never went on another date for year.

 

Dating scares the hell out of me!

 

After leaving university, I’d only ever been on three dates in my life. I met Craig (ex boyfriend) pretty much as soon as I graduated and I’ve been off the market for three years. Now that I’m adjusting to single life, I’m being pushed to start dating. Firstly, I still feel as though I’m doing something wrong by agreeing to a date. But there is more to it than just that. Dating gives me anxiety! I speak to my friends who go on dates regularly, meeting the majority of their dates from apps. They end up meeting these really fun, interesting people and get to explore different restaurants, bars and places around London.

 

In my opinion, social media has ruined romance. 

 

I know this is something I’m going to have to become accustomed to – this is the way the dating game works now. It’s all online, which has ruined romance. I just cannot help but think if I meet somebody online, I’ll end up beheaded in a bin – It’s mental! I met Craig from Tinder, but I still have this feeling I’ll end up dead in somebodies basement. People are crazy! Death from dating is not the way I’d like to go. No sir. There is also another huge issue with dating online. People put their best selves forward, which is obvious, why wouldn’t you? But I’ve heard stories where people look 20 years older than they do in their profiles, or simply look completely different. I’ve been told many times that people are using pictures taken from my Instagram for dating apps. There are so many fake profiles out there. You could be talking to anybody – we’ve all seen the show Catfish. Need I say more?

 

I need to open up to the idea of going on dates.

 

I need a dating guru who can help me control my nerves and anxiety. I’d be much more inclined to go on a date with somebody I’d already met, but straight from an app scares me. On the dates I have been on, something happens to me where I become really introverted and I have no idea how to approach the situation. I dread somebody asking me on a date because I instantly shut it down, especially when you match on apps like Tinder and a date is the first thing they ask for after saying hello. I need time to get to know their personality before committing to a date, but nobody is willing to put in the time – it’s so fast-paced! I know that I look too much into what a date is. Essentially, it’s a drink or a coffee – that’s it. So that’ll be something I’ll have to work on in the future, whenever the time comes when I am ready to date.

Are you scared of dating? Or do you love going on dates? Let me know by commenting below!

 

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3 Comments

  1. Paul
    January 29, 2018 / 2:18 pm

    Hi charlie, another great blog. I have been single for a while now, like you it didn’t feel right for a while after breaking up with the ex. There is no right amount of time, yoU’ll do it when you feel it’s right. Dating is scary as hell to me. The thought of meeting someone for the first time still gets me worried. What I try and do now though is after a couple of days chatting on the dating site I then move it to swapping numbers, starting off with a few texts before suggesting to call them or vice versa, hearing someone’s voice puts me at ease a bit more then chatting online, and then when you feel ready arrange the meet, it won’t come across as weird as meeting someone who you’ve only typed a message to. I hope this helps. Paul x

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