It’s one of those tricky questions that sparks debate. Can you have a fantastic career, as well as a budding and long-lasting romantic relationship?
“Craig and I are open and honest with one another and others regarding our relationship. If we’re struggling and not getting on, we aren’t ashamed to admit it.”
In life, some seek love, whilst others pursue a career. In many cases, when one is thriving , the other is crashing and burning. Many fight for both, but, find it difficult to achieve…
Craig and I are open and honest with one another and others regarding our relationship. If we’re struggling and not getting on, we aren’t ashamed to admit it. We head-butt one another first and discuss it second. Craig and I stand at opposing opinions to this question. Craig believes that your relationship is the most important thing, whereas, I value my career.
Craig made a valid point, when you’re too old to work and are no longer able, it’s your relationship that is still there. I was raised watching my mum have a successful career, she works in Law and works hours upon hours. I would visit her office as a child, from then, I knew I wanted to work in London and have a great career, just like her.
As many of you may know, I recently accepted a new job in London, and moved to Richmond. With this move, I am further away from Craig.
In age, Craig and I have 10 years between us. I am just starting adulthood, whilst Craig is well into the mix. Craig is very much wanting to settle down, whereas I want to live in the city, work my way up the career-ladder and live that fast-paced city lifestyle. We are naturally at very different stages in life, which makes a relationship difficult.
I am not ashamed to admit that Craig and I have argued endlessly this week. Our relationship nearly ended. I have cried many times, not slept and generally felt drained. All relationships go through their difficult stages, it is whether you as a unit are strong enough to get through that stage. Unfortunately, Craig’s ex-boyfriends treated him badly and it has effected his confidence and given him trust issues. He has severe insecurities that I have had to fight with for the entirety of our relationship. My downfall is that I am impatient, short-fused and hot-headed. I feel like I am having to deal with the repercussions of other peoples mistakes, as if they were my own – I find that frustrating.
“We are naturally at very different stages in life, which makes a relationship difficult.”
I can understand that Craig finds it hard that I am living in London. At this stage in life, he had hoped to be settled, with a mortgage and waking up to the guy he loved everyday. From my point of view, your 20s are for being selfish, doing what you need to do and building a career. I have wanted to work in London since I was 8. When I was 21, I told Craig that I wanted to move to London with my friends and get a career I’d be proud of. He decided to pursue the relationship knowing that it was what I wanted. After a few months of being in a relationship, we had completely fallen for one another, and it was time for me to move to London. With Craig’s insecurities, he told me we would break-up if I moved. It both shocked and scared me, I didn’t go. I resented him for it for a long time. Since then, Craig has apologised and admitted he was wrong for saying that, therefore, I made plans to move to London and get a job.
“Your 20s are for being selfish.”
Throughout our relationship, it has always been difficult to find time to see one another. When we first started dating, I was in hospitality working 55+ hours and Craig worked unsociable hours. For months, I would drive to his house, climb into bed with him, then he would leave in the morning. That was our time together. It wasn’t easy, but, he’s worth it.
I think a lot of people thought negatively of me when I moved to London and they found out Craig wasn’t. I stayed working in Milton Keynes and wasn’t happy, I don’t want Craig to have to move to London and feel the way I did in Milton Keynes. In life and relationships, you have to make sacrifices for your partner, and it is normal for your relationships to have their rough patches. Who set the template for what a relationship should be? There isn’t one. They’re all unique and there are many opposing opinions on the elements that make a relationship. I was speaking to a man the other day, whose partner is Australian. They lived apart for a year and made it work. They did everything they could, sacrificed and made it work. Now? They live together in London, are engaged and been together for eight years. They weren’t even in the same country. I couldn’t quite fathom how this couple made it work form opposite sides of the world, yet we are not coping well being an hour away from one another. That seems crazy to me. Craig and I are building bridges, learning to work with one another, instead of against one another.
This is just how our relationship is going to be for a while. We may not see each other often, we may live in different places, but, the way I feel for Craig isn’t going to change. I love him, I adore his family and I need him in my life. He is my Teddy (nickname, the cringe). Plus, I think my family will never speak to me again if we broke up!
“Craig and I are building bridges, learning to work with one another, instead of against one another.”
I just need time to be a little selfish, build a career in London, make something of this blog and grow. I am fighting to do this whilst maintaining my relationship with my first love. Maybe I’m deluded, or maybe we can achieve this! Who knows…